Finding the perfect work-life balance in nursing and health and social care can feel like an impossible task, particularly when you are required to work long and unsociable shifts or when you are trying to progress your career.

We can often hold the idea of having work-life balance on a bit of a pedestal, but do we even know what a perfect work-life balance would look like for us? And if we knew what it looked like, do we believe that we can have it all? Achieving both our professional and personal goals in perfect harmony? Is the notion of ‘having it all’ a realistic one or just another expectation to add to the long list of things we may never achieve? What does ‘having it all’ even mean, and if it is achievable, is it sustainable?

When I ask myself what ‘having it all’ looks like for me, I find my mind reeling through the superficial portrayals that modern day society has presented to me via magazines and social media. But none of this mean anything to me! I came to realise that I needed to reframe and redefine what things, in both my work and my personal life, are important to me and what brings meaning, purpose and joy to my life; so that I feel that ‘having it all’ not only brings me a sense of contentment but a sense of balance.

Knowing what brings you meaning and purpose and joy in life can lead you to finding a work-life balance that works for you. Work-life balance will be different for each and every one of us because how we work and live and the things that bring us joy will be different. Some of us will thrive working in high pressured environments and some will prefer the slower pace. Just like some will enjoy an active personal life where others prefer a much tamer approach. So therefore, our work life balances will differ and be either more work dominated or more focused on personal life. Neither are right or wrong, so long as it works for you and the balance brings you fulfilment.

Working in healthcare has always felt more challenging to achieve a true sense of work-life balance but as I reflect on my career so far, I have realised it has provided me with the ability to shift my balance around both my work and my personal life throughout the different chapters of my life. I have been able to work around my extra study and at points it has enabled me to take time off to study. And over the past nine years I have been able to flexibly work around my childcare arrangements. I have worked overtime or extra shifts when I have needed the extra money to pay for a holiday or when the washing machine broke down. Most importantly my career in nursing has given me a huge sense of purpose, meaning and joy so balancing this with life became less of a chore because it has always been something I have wanted to do. Therefore, it became just as important to make my life outside of work just as purposeful, meaningful and joyful.

If work-life balance is so simple, why is it so difficult to achieve? I wonder if this is where self-compassion comes into play, and it got me thinking about the ancient philosophy known as the ‘Yin’ and ‘Yang’ of self-compassion. The ‘Yin’ represents us being able to soothe, comfort and validate ourselves whereas the ‘Yang’ represents being able to protect and motivate ourselves but also it’s about how we make boundaries.

There is a lot of emphasis on wellbeing and self-compassion particularly in healthcare, but if we are already swamped in work and our work-life balance is out of sync, using our ‘Yin’ to soothe ourselves may not be enough to shift our balance. Applying the principles of ‘Yang’ encourages us to be more proactive, motivating and driving to make positive steps in negotiating and restoring balance to our lives. ‘Yang’ principles can help us to create clear boundaries for both our work and personal lives. If we are able to say ‘no’ when we start to feel that we are becoming unbalanced or overwhelmed, we can start to take control and stay balanced.

I was discussing this blog with a colleague and by chance she had just listened to a podcast from her local business network: Blooming Good for Business Podcast on Amazon Music. Although the podcast is for business, it really resonated to me the reality of striving for balance. One comment that really struck me was “we are capable of anything, but we cannot do everything”. This really stood out to me, that just because we are capable doesn’t mean we have to do everything. I found this statement really empowering, reminding me that we have control over finding our ‘balance’ and that if we use our ‘Yang’ self-compassion to create boundaries we can focus on the things that bring us joy and lead us to finding our work-life balance with self-compassion.

If we approach finding our work-life balance with self-compassion and an understanding that we can reframe and redefine what balance looks like throughout our lives and our careers as and when we need to, then it maybe just maybe it is possible to have it all!